As I can still feel the smoke in my eyes...

What a night tonight was. So many people played tonight and so many of them were so on fire. I personally felt like I had a good night too. Focus. I have this good thing yet I can't shake something that is a detriment I probably just created for myself.

I wish the world and how it always seems to go, we're a little different.

So maybe I'm in a dark place.

15 minutes of paradise

In empty bars, shine on.
Pretentious ones put hands together
as the night pushes along.
And all my confidence is squeezed in 10 fingers
where my anxiety, excitement, and desperation lingers.
I have grown tired of a broken heart
so I leave mine up where the tubes are glowing,
the strings are roaring,
and notes are surely soaring.
It's a definitive high
followed by the proverbial low.
Reality is future,
future has become present,
and I am who I am once more.
A good man
still suffering reality's hollow-ness.

Changing ways.

This week has been one of the most insane weeks of my life. It's had a few very extreme highs, coupled with a plethora of really bad lows. I sound a little emo I suppose, (which is ironic) but this has truly been a week where if I didn't grow and adjust, I would have fallen. I have some pretty good friends, a different attitude, and apparently I've found I'm also fairly resilient.

I am however honest. I'm burnt out, exhausted, and ready for a few days off. Oh tuesday how far away you are.

I once knew a man by sight.

Something's telling me
it just may be
time for my white flag.

Something's pushing me
to true believe
and count the blessings I have.

Ive got a will to strive
to fight and stay alive
and shoot away all my doubt.

So I will run and laugh
forget the common path
and find my dreams all about.


A new way to think.

Written two years ago about my first love

It is the strength I've never summoned.
That, of the subject of you.
Your memory ads a bitter yet warm pain
to the three simple letters of a pro-noun.
It wasn't so much the pain of losing you.
Well, perhaps it was.
It was you, seemingly going back on your own very words.
That that the time I took as gospel.
It was like a virus adding a sense of pain
to all our friends in our circle.
You don't truly know what a circle really is.
What you made a comfortable, wonderful thing to speak on and say,
was later what you blamed detrimental
with I as the culprit.
It wasn't so much much that I loved you with every single fiber in my soul,
It's that I wasn't allowed to anymore.

Something older..

A few years ago, I had a lot of trouble getting over a relationship. Normally I'd attempt more discretion, but this thing is old and dead in the water by now. Mostly, I don't harbor any contempt over it anymore and I'm still good friends with parties involved. However I gotta say for some backstory, that it involves being betrayed by a good friend over a woman.


Shadows Of Friends
I'm beset by the things i dont want to suppress,
but I'm left with no place to go.
And i havent caught you at your very best
and to me you must clearly know.
Betrayal's a ruin on all things good,
and it's ruined my comfortable lie.
that if its something i wouldnt do to you
then for you would it would also apply.

If you were put in my shoes
what then would you choose?
If you really sympathize
look straight into my eyes...
would i do the same?

Shocked at the lack of consideration
that must've gotten lost on the way.
If my words are patronization
its obvious deep down you knew the right way.
I dont presume change the ways
of thoughts i cant comprehend.
Dissapointment in these dark days
only lies in shadows of friends

My first post here, and my it's late.

This felt like a good time to start a whole new blog. Clean slate. I feel like my life is shifting into new chapter, and for the first time in a year or so I think it's a very good thing. Life's been fickle lately however, let's see how well it lasts :)

I could really post about 4 or 5 different things on my mind right now, but it's almost 3 am and most of them have serious and mind-numbing overtones. Here's what I'm thinking a lot lately though...Everything I write whether music, lyrics, or just prose; seems completely different from what I end up performing or showing outwardly. I play and enjoy blues the best. I think I find in myself two perfect forms of expression that I can both do well all at once (singing and guitar player) and there aren't too many other types of music that do that. You tell me Fall Out Boy plays music with as much soul as a Collins, Vaughan, King? No way.

Everything I write on that note, is a much different animal. I can't explain it, I'd rather just let it speak for itself.
-----------------------------

Reached out tonight
to the one I call God.
To ask if He might
rescue me from the storm.
Then thoughts turned to you
prayer paid in full.
will you come back around
rise alive beautiful.

Theres another part to it, I just like the first part the best.